The other day, I talked to (one of) my mentors; he told me that he had a feeling that I am a hard person to please. I looked at him, and told him I was. I am not sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but I took it with a grain of salt and walked out with a smile on my face-he was right. I analyze work and church a lot- my thought process shifted from positive to negative, which is not who I am, but I figured out it was the person I was becoming and the person I have been for the a few months. I somehow lost focus on the things that matter in life-the things that I can control. I need to get that part of me back, the person that did not allow the changes in life to affect my attitude. I had the ability to share my thoughts, pray about it and leave it at the altar and walk away with a smile. What happened to that Cherise? I am mentally drained and need to be spiritually fed.
This week, I was tasked with a homework assignment that I did not want to do, but I needed to because I want to get 100% on the assignment. So, I went to church to complete my homework assignment, nothing more.
God had something else in store for me. I walked out of the church with a new lease on my life.
Today’s sermon puts things in perspective; I need to go back to being the old me-I use to look at the best in everything and everyone, but somehow I lost sight of what made me happy at work and church. I was happiest at church when I worshiped with others and when I was being filled with the Holy Spirit. My biggest gripe was that I needed a church that had gospel music and I needed to hear people shout and give thanks. But something was missing. My needs were different than my wants. I want to continue to grow spiritually, because it is a big part of who I am. Would I like to have gospel music and hear someone shout from time to time? Yes! However, I realized that I was stopping my spiritual growth because I was focused on the music and the shouting. (My a-ha moment) God has a way to speak to me beyond the music and shouting. My spiritual foundation was built from birth; my mom introduced and helped me build a relationship with God. I am not going to find the same church or have the same pastor that I had growing up; my old church does not exist in the Indianapolis area.