What happened to Cherise?

The other day, I talked to (one of) my mentors; he told me that he had a feeling that I am a hard person to please. I looked at him, and told him I was. I am not sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing, but I took it with a grain of salt and walked out with a smile on my face-he was right. I analyze work and church a lot- my thought process shifted from positive to negative, which is not who I am, but I figured out it was the person I was becoming and the person I have been for the a few months.  I somehow lost focus on the things that matter in life-the things that I can control. I need to get that part of me back, the person that did not allow the changes in life to affect my attitude. I had the ability to share my thoughts, pray about it and leave it at the altar and walk away with a smile. What happened to that Cherise? I am mentally drained and need to be spiritually fed.

This week, I was tasked with a homework assignment that I did not want to do, but I needed to because I want to get 100% on the assignment. So, I went to church to complete my homework assignment, nothing more.

God had something else in store for me.  I walked out of the church with a new lease on my life.

Today’s sermon puts things in perspective; I need to go back to being the old me-I use to look at the best in everything and everyone, but somehow I lost sight of what made me happy at work and church. I was happiest at church when I worshiped with others and when I was being filled with the Holy Spirit. My biggest gripe was that I needed a church that had gospel music and I needed to hear people shout and give thanks.  But something was missing.  My needs were different than my wants. I want to continue to grow spiritually, because it is a big part of who I am. Would I like to have gospel music and hear someone shout from time to time? Yes! However,  I realized that I was stopping my spiritual growth because I was focused on the music and the shouting. (My a-ha moment) God has a way to speak to me beyond the music and shouting. My spiritual foundation was built from birth; my mom introduced and helped me build a relationship with God. I am not going to find the same church or have the same pastor that I had growing up; my old church does not exist in the Indianapolis area.

 I’ve finally found the solution to my problem. In order for me to move forward, I need to let go of my old church home; so I can find a church home that will help me grow and move me, beyond the music to allow me to continue to grow spiritually and to ignore the weeds that keeps popping up in my rose garden.